Monthly Archives: March 2011

Never Crave French Fries Again

(EDIT: fixed the link below)

White potatoes are part of the nightshade vegetable family.  I still can’t tell if they personally affect my inflammation levels.  I hear its different for everyone.  I don’t crave crave homemade potatoes ever, but when I smell regular McD type fries, the scratchin and twinchin starts.  They don’t even taste that awesome to me, so I reckon it’s the heroin they add into their frying lard bins that tells my brain I must have them.  Either way, I still stay away from french fries or anything fried.  But I do crave starches, as we should, and it’s tiring eating brown rice all the time.  Hellooooo Sweet Potatoes! this tater is in the clear for dangerous toxin avoidance.

So I tried this lil easy and quick recipe.  This is an addiction that doesn’t terrorize the body and mind.  Like the recently added word from the Oxford dictionary implies: OMG!

When I saw the recipe and imagined the flavors together, I couldn’t have imagined how awesome it would turn out. So, click below and check it out.  Filling, satisfying and it feels like indulgence. And its so pretty.  However, even the oils are good for you (if the rest of your diet during the day/week is balanced).  Yes, this meal was nice to me.  No pain, no inflammation, no weirdness.  The trick now is seeing if Husband will like it when he gets back to town.

Roasted Sweet Potato Salad w/ Cranberries & Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

http://vegvacious.blogspot.com/2011/02/roasted-sweet-potato-salad.html

Note:

I didn’t have Dijon mustard so I improvised and probably will keep doing it my way. My dressing involved two parts.  Since I didn’t know if the tastes would blend well, I made them separately and mixed them on the plate instead:

  • 1/3 olive oil
  • 1/2 cup white vinegar
  • white onion (small half, sliced thin into slivers)

(the extra can be used as an everyday healthy salad dressing.  But I don’t like yer typical greens salad. Yeck.)

Separately, I just mixed honey mustard:

  • 2 tbsps Organic mustard (or any yellow mustard)
  • 3 drops of Pure honey

Kay, that’s it. Buh Bye.

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Filed under Foodsies, Picture of Health, Post A Week, Random

Top Ten Lists

The dog days are here (for Florida). It’s March Madness. I turned 28 this. I hesitantly signed up for the gym (since you know I have wonderful health). I returned a Blockbuster to movie Redbox. Husband has been out of town way too much. Oxford put LOL and OMG in the dictionary. This week skipped a day. Well, it didn’t really but I took work off Wednesday, convinced it was Thursday, missed my meeting, and now have an extra day of work, or so it feels like it.

Mercury must be in retrograde or the vernal moon threw everything off.  There’s a poor sense of flowing continuity. More like random scattered events and chores are taken care of during pocketed moments of lucidity and then I’m sucked back into a timespace jumble box where the days and minutes jump around. Also, I may be reading too much on parallel world physics.

Not feeling so hot lately, except for the literal heat beating down from the sun onto my sensitive skin or immune system. In the last few years, when I would spend a day at the beach, the rest of the week I would have some kind of feverish symptoms and be depleted. I always thought it was the beer/hydration but oh, how I’m learning new things. Now I’m getting the full blown detriment of what the sun does to people with lupus (which is still very confusing to me). There is something about heat, that to some, releases histamine wildly into the body. I either break down in hives or ‘exercise’ hives (urticaria), shut down completely, feel flushed, or swell up all over.  This is just another explanation for the abovementioned hesitance for signing up to a gym.  I overheat and then got little red bumps everywhere, thankfully its usually beneath the clothes, nothing obvious; but when I take a hot shower I look like a sci-fi creature.

Anyway, things should get better when I get my car back since I’m driving a car with no AC right now; or, when winter comes around again.  I’m not sure how the sensitivity to the sun works since everyone with Lupus reacts differently.  But for now my health, therefore sanity, is on a crazier roller coaster than Lindsey Lohan’s sobriety.

So that little intro segues to the following comedic relief that I found floating around the net.  The absurdity of life.

Here’s to hoping I get better soon so I can blog about something coherent, useful, and worthwhile without having to drop celebrity names to get more hits on the web:

10. Life is sexually transmitted.

9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

6. Some people are like a slinky… not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing. 

4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

2. In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

1. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven’t a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

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Filed under Loopy Lupus, Random

Elephant and itises

(-itis: Greek derived suffix meaning inflammation)

Inflammation from head to toe.  Front to back.  Inside and out.  I feel like an elephant is trying to fit inside my human shell.

A cute one though:

via Cake Wrekcs

My hair feels like that too! Electrocuted scanty tufts!

Who would’ve thought my favorite picture ever on Cake Wrecks would’ve been of an elephant?

Some medicines, insurance rejections, and not carefully reading food labels have rendered me mentally and physically wrought.  As upset and overwhelmed as I am, I will not let it drag me down after all the progress I’ve made.  The thoughts that go through one’s heads while you’re experiencing pain are usually not reality based and can drag you down.  I know that the feeling of despair and defeat are not based on the facts, but on the current and ephemeral feelings of frustration.  Perspective is key.

My plea and reminder to all those who are sick and tired and being sick and tired is to remember to not be hard on yourself for not being able to do more, for not cleaning those last few pots leaving a food smell, and for having to stay in and watch yet another movie at home. Turn on a few candles, sit down, take naps, rest well, and another run of good days eventually comes around.

Do not punish yourself for not sticking to the diet 100% and if other people scold you for it, you tell THEM to not eat cookies for a whole year and watch them suck at it.  However, don’t give in to more no-no foods just because you’ve had it with the rice cakes.  Hang tight to the friends and family that support you and put aside the ones that don’t for a little while.  Do not resent the things you cannot do and the healthy people who do not relate to you anymore.  And do not feel the need to make others understand what you are going through (unless they ask).  They still care about you just as much even if they don’t really get it.   Mostly, stop trying to explain to yourself why you should be washing the car , re-tiling the kitchen, and hitting the gym.

Do relax while you wait for the worse to past and start your game plan on how to carry on stronger the next go round of health you have.  The easier you are on your body, the sooner you will feel better.  Do remember to wear something cute and put some color on your face even if you’re stuck home.  And do take the down time to think and do something for the other people who have it rough too like a faithful caretaker, a friend who sticks to you when you’re bummy, a congregation member who’s ill, or the families in Japan.  Being chronically ill does not change you’re relevancy in being there for others.

Learn the drill cycle and follow through. (Insert smiley face emoticon here).

And for God’s sake, if you’re allergic to gluten, stop looking at cake websites unless you have the energy and $60 to buy the supplies and ingredients for a wheat free, yeast free, sugar free, night-shade free vegetable, cake.

 

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Filed under Loopy Lupus, Under the Weather

Spice Girl

Some days I have great days and suddenly plummet out of nowhere.   Some days I wake up a wreck and in three hours I take over the world.  Usually, I take on the day a few hours at a time, not a day at a time, like the old proverb says. Anyone else? Anyone?

Here are some inexpensive ways to keep the body fighting all types of junk all day long, help stave off coffee urges, reduce appetite, keep from kicking innocent bystanders, and soothe joint pain and inflammation. The health benefits are listed for awareness of what aids you’re receiving in the short and long-term care. If you click on the subject link you get the full stories and any warnings that may follow along.  After all, too much of a good thing, yada yada…

These easy-to-find, easy-to-apply homemade remedy tips wind-me up for another go and help endure work days that render me a clockwatcher:

Ginger

I just drop some ground ginger into filtered water, heat, and drink; adding honey on days I can tolerate sugars.

Ovarian Cancer Treatment
Ginger may be powerful weapon in the treatment of ovarian cancer. A study conducted at the University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center found that ginger powder induces cell death in all ovarian cancer cells to which it was applied.

Colon Cancer Prevention
A study at the University of Minnesota found that ginger may slow the growth of colorectal cancer cells.

Morning Sickness
A review of several studies has concluded that ginger is just as effective as vitamin B6 in the treatment of morning sickness.

Motion Sickness Remedy
Ginger has been shown to be an effective remedy for the nausea associated with motion sickness.

Reduces Pain and Inflammation
One study showed that ginger has anti-inflammatory properties and is a powerful natural painkiller.

Heartburn Relief
Ginger has long been used as a natural heartburn remedy. It is most often taken in the form of tea for this purpose.

Cold and Flu Prevention and Treatment
Ginger has long been used as a natural treatment for colds and the flu. Many people also find ginger to be helpful in the case of stomach flus or food poisoning, which is not surprising given the positive effects ginger has upon the digestive tract.

Migraine Relief
Research has shown that ginger may provide migraine relief due to its ability to stop prostaglandins from causing pain and inflammation in blood vessels.

Menstrual Cramp Relief
In Chinese medicine, ginger tea with brown sugar is used in the treatment of menstrual cramps.

Prevention of Diabetic Nephropathy
A study done on diabetic rats found that those rats given ginger had a reduced incidence of diabetic nephropathy (kidney damage).

Turmeric

Yay for bulleted lists.  This one goes in every food possible, but also in the form of tea as described with the ginger.  Doesn’t smell as great but tastes very neutral.  Has similar properties to Tylenol and aspirin. Yes, it really works.

1. It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.

2. When combined with cauliflower, it has shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop the growth of existing prostate cancer.

3. Prevented breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.

4. May prevent melanoma and cause existing melanoma cells to commit suicide.

5. Reduces the risk of childhood leukemia.

6. Is a natural liver detoxifier.

7. May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer’s disease by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.

8. May prevent metastases from occurring in many different forms of cancer.

9. It is a potent natural anti-inflammatory that works as well as many anti-inflammatory drugs but without the side effects.

10. Has shown promise in slowing the progression of multiple sclerosis in mice.

11. Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.

12. May aid in fat metabolism and help in weight management.

13. Has long been used in Chinese medicine as a treatment for depression.

14. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, it is a natural treatment for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.

15. Boosts the effects of chemo drug paclitaxel and reduces its side effects.

16. Promising studies are underway on the effects of turmeric on pancreatic cancer.

17. Studies are ongoing in the positive effects of turmeric on multiple myeloma.

18. Has been shown to stop the growth of new blood vessels in tumors.

19. Speeds up wound healing and assists in remodeling of damaged skin. Great for people who workout too.

20. May help in the treatment of psoriasis and other inflammatory skin conditions. Some hair loss or thinning may be inflammatory.

Cinnamon

Anything sweet I will have gets cinnamon.  Oatmeal, smoothies, shakes, etc I’ve never felt immediate relief from this one like I do from all the other ones listed here, but whatever is healthy and tastes good is worth including.

Studies have shown that just 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon per day can lower LDL cholesterol.

Several studies suggest that cinnamon may have a regulatory effect on blood sugar, making it especially beneficial for people with Type 2 diabetes. Or just a good insulin regulator.

In some studies, cinnamon has shown an amazing ability to stop medication-resistant yeast infections. Candidiasis (yeast) is one of the root causes of some lupus cases (like mine) and many cancer, (Aside from having an allergy to it). Most Americans probably have it to some degree (especially if you take medications and/or birth control) and may not know it because conventional medicine doesn’t offer to find this. Click here for the endless list of symptoms, including fatigue, sinus problems, irritability, poor memory, etc.

In a study published by researchers at the U.S. Department of Agriculture in Maryland, cinnamon reduced the proliferation of leukemia and lymphoma cancer cells.

It has an anti-clotting effect on the blood.

In a study at Copenhagen University, patients given half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder combined with one tablespoon of honey every morning before breakfast had significant relief in arthritis pain after one week and could walk without pain within one month.

When added to food, it inhibits bacterial growth and food spoilage, making it a natural food preservative.

One study found that smelling cinnamon boosts cognitive function and memory.

Researchers at Kansas State University found that cinnamon fights the E. coli bacteria in unpasteurized juices.

It is a great source of manganese, fiber, iron, and calcium.

Allspice

One of my new favorite is Allspice with Ginger. Allspice is not a combination of spices like I originally thought. It’s the actual specimen that resembles a variety of spices like cinnamon and cloves. Circulation feels great after one cup of hot Allspice tea.


Traditional Usage:
– Analgesic
– Antibacterial
– Antifungal
– Antioxidant
– Colic, Stomach Upset
– Colds, Flu and Bronchitis
– Corns
– Diarrhea
– Digestive Disorders
– Flatulence
– Heart Health Maintenance
– Indigestion
– Menstrual Health Maintenance
– Neuralgia
– Respiratory Health Maintenance
– Rheumatism
– Vascular Disorders


Overview:
Allspice, Pimenta dioica(L.) Merrill [Fam. Myrtaceae], also known as pimento, Jamaica pepper and clove pepper, is an evergreen tree found in South America, Mexico and the West Indies. The unripe berry, which smells and tastes like a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves, is used primarily as a food and medicinal flavouring agent. Allspice is used in folk medicine for treating many different conditions including: colic, infantile diarrhea, cholera infantum, bleeding lungs, painful menstruation, chilblains, nausea, chills, flatulence, corns, colds, dyspepsia, neuralgia, and rheumatism. However, there are no clinical studies to back up these claims. The herb is considered to be a stimulant, carminative (for treating gas), anodyne (a pain-relieving medicine milder than an analgesic), and antioxidant, bactericidal, fungicidal, and stomachic. Dr. James Duke in The Green Pharmacy refers to allspice as a tropical herb with a very complex aroma that is useful for treating indigestion. Animal studies with the total aqueous extract of allspice given by intravenous (i.v.) administration have shown that it reduces high vascular pressure (has hypotensive activity) and has a central nervous system (CNS) depressant effect. Interestingly, the hypotensive effect of identical doses (100 mg/kg) of the aqueous extract (95% decrease) was significantly greater (P < 0.05) than the effect of the ethanolic extract (67% decrease). The researchers also noted that there were no significant changes in the heart rate and no abnormalities were observed in the EKG. Another study using intraperitoneal administration of different extracts of allspice to normal and hypertensive rats caused a depression of the central nervous system (CNS) in a dose-dependent manner. Analgesic and hypothermic effects were also observed. Again, the total aqueous extract was more effective than the ethanolic extract. It was noted that the extract caused peritoneal irritation that may only partially explain the depressive effect over the CNS. 

 

Peppermint Oil

A rouge addition, for herbs are just as good as spices, but this one keeps me going at work when I cannot focus; whether it be pain, negative attitudes emanating in the office, brain fog, boring-ness, restlessness, need coffee-ness. It’s amazing how it has a similar effect as Aderrall, without thinking you’re Superman snorting lines. I just add two drops to a water bottle or something actually dab a teeny bit under the nose to help inhale it.

Peppermint essential oil is a fantastic essential oil with a sharp, invigorating and very familiar scent especially around the winter holidays. Historically, the Egyptians, Greeks and Romans used it and it’s one of the oldest essential oils still in use. Most aromatherapy experts call peppermint essential oil a “must have” due to its ability to ease headaches, help with sleepiness and soothe digestive problems.

Helps with Nausea and Digestive Issues

To ease nausea and other digestive problems, place a single drop of peppermint essential oil onto a piece of cotton and inhale deeply. You could also hold the small bottle containing the essential oil beneath your nose, if it’s not too strong for you. Add a few drops to a massage oil (never apply essential oils directly to the skin) and lightly massage the stomach to help with other digestive problems such as indigestion. While peppermint essential oil helps with digestion, it should never be taken internally without first checking with a care provider.

Relieves Headaches

To relieve headaches place a drop of the peppermint essential oil onto a cotton ball, find a quiet place, close your eyes and inhale deeply. You could also place a few drops into a diffuser and lay down for a few minutes until the headache eases. Many aromatherapy experts feel peppermint essential oil works faster than commercial drugs at relieving headaches. If you can’t find a quiet place to inhale the oil, combine a one or two drops of peppermint essential oil with a massage oil (about half a cup) and rub a few drops into your wrists or temples.

Combats Sleepiness

Another peppermint essential oil benefit is that it’s invigorating and can wake you up when you’re feeling sleepy. Rather than having that cup of caffeine in the morning, try adding a few drops to a diffuser, deeply inhaling peppermint essential oil, or drizzling a drop or two onto the floor of your shower to help you wake up.

Reduces Inflammation

In addition to other abilities, peppermint essential oil mixed in a massage oil reduces muscle inflammation. If you’re tired, headachy and have sore muscles, get a full body massage using the mixture. You may find this one oil eases all of those problems. Great for joints that are tired from being in the same typing position. I curiously use the oil straight on the joints and was nicely surprised.

And to concluce: a random link on anti-inflammatory diets.  I hear it’s all the rage.:

http://www.inflammation-information.com/anti-inflammatory-foods.html


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Filed under Loopy Lupus, Picture of Health, Under the Weather

Are You Suggesting Coconuts Migrate?

The last few times I’ve had ice cream, I end up taking two hour death naps and waking up only to realize my muscles are as paralyzed as there were in my brief REM. Can’t even kick the cats off my face.  No. Idea. Why. A little bit of dairy doesn’t hurt me.  My guess? The gluten or the stuff they use for fillers in regular mill ice cream.

So, it’s Friday and I’ve had enough roughage this week and am dying to get home.  Time for a treat. Pass by Sweetbays.  They’re organic section is usually overpriced but I always check just in case.  Walk by the frozen organics and the only words that reach out to me are coconut milk and dairy free. $4.29. Popped it in my cart.  I don’t wait until I get home.  No, I unwrap that baby right in the car. I take them out… and they’re microscopic!  It’s like they knew I was a midget!

I check the box, the biggest word on the box was minis.  Losing!

Then I bite into and its chocolately through and through! What? Look at the box.  The next huge word was fudge! Not a big fan of fudgy stuff unless its in brownies and my body didn’t want a rich and sinful treat, just something digestible and cool. I should try paying attention, no?

It did taste coconuty though and lately I have a love affair with all things coconut. Soy, I just have crushes on. All in all, it was delicious.  I check the box one more time so see what else I missed….. 70 Calories. And 6 grams of sugar.  Something about healthy fats.  And speaking of fats, these last few weeks I’m stuffed myself with the most fat I ever had since my running days and lost more weight.  The memo was: if you don’t eat enough fat, you won’t lose weight.  I always knew this but was so paranoid with that misunderstood word I would deprive myself.  So, I’m about to get my coconut-fudge on and eat like 4 more. Winning!

Here’s one Thailandish gemstone I found in the MexiBori mart (“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”)(must watch):

Nummy, Nummy.

Again, I go so excited with the coconuts I didn’t realize it wasn’t a ready to eat gelato or yogurt.  I just assumed it was. So I ended up stuck with this for 24 hours:

 

"Frozen halves of coconuts"

Anyway, it’s coconut juice, coconut meat, a bit of sugar, and agar powder. That’s it.  Once it defrosts its like a crystalized drink and occasional bites of coconut.  Que rico.

More easy-peasy, gluten free, healthy fats, and winning treats.  In the last week I made:

  • Quinoa Granola (leads to incontinence accidents it’s so good. It has El Coco!):

Click for recipe at Hungry Hungry Hippie

  • And made my own Hummus, with varying levels of garlic.  1) One batch for when husband is home. 2) Tons of garlic for when he’s out of town. 3) No I didn’t bother with the garnish.  Best hummus I ever had and love the power kick you get from saying, “I make my own hummus”.  It was getting complicated to go to Whole Foods every time with the frequency and quantity in which I consume it.  The Sabra and Athenos make my brain hurt because of the  additives.

Ditto on linking to recipe

Love, Peace, Coconut Grease.

(Literally, I’m about to put some coconut oil on my hurr to make it healthy and delicious.)

Read up on some awesome health benefits from your favorite nuts!

http://products.mercola.com/coconut-oil/ (Actually a video, I know some of you love Dr. Mercola.  He’s encouraging the eating of fat!)

http://hubpages.com/hub/Health_Benefits_of_Coconut Top 10 list!

http://www.coconutoilhealthbenefits.com/ A few more interesting facts

 

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Filed under Foodsies, Housewifing, Indulgence, Picture of Health, Stimulating the Economy

Running Music

(Wrote this post a few weeks back, just got around to editing.)

As a single person, I often listened to the calls of nature more than responsibilities.  I know, not the best thing to brag about, but it’s who I default to when The Man is getting the best of me.  If the day is perfect, I will do what is necessary to catch the sunlight, or the perfect sun:wind combo, or a burst of energy.  So today, although the laundry was shouting my name, it was one of Florida’s few perfect days.  And also,  it’s not Thursday, the weird day in which I recoil to a robotic machine and cannot do anything out of routine.  So I put on my funky little shape-ups (that I only own because Husband says they’re cute) although I think he’s just getting on my good side.  Gotta let the cripple win some.  I went out for a walk.

By the way, they don’t tone your butt.  Squats tone your butt. And that’s not why I got them, my buns are fine thank you.  They ease up the knee joints.

The breeze was perfect and the right blend of cool and warm.   The afternoon shades were dreamily falling over the city line (albeit, an ugly city in my humble opinion).  I put my iPod buds in my ears and set out to walk in a public area where I won’t be abducted (and quickly returned).  It was hard to resist not taking off running, just like the old days.  After so many years of trying to find my niche, aside from home, work, and family, it was this.  Hitting the pavement, beating my own records, listening to my music, and separating my thoughts from everything that could disillusion a person.  Now here I was treading ever so lightly to make sure my foot bones won’t slide around, my hip won’t rub on direct bone, my knees won’t hyper-extend, my ankles won’t swell, my ligaments won’t snap.  I about started to run to forget it all.  But I didn’t.  I’m paying heed to the lessons I’m finally learning about over-doing it.

Another aspect I noticed about my single-self versus married-self, with the added struggle of being as fragile as a porcelain doll, is music.  Music would set my mood, or I would set the mood with my music.  I don’t usually care for music in the background while I work or while a group is enjoying a conversation.  I ritualistically listen to it when I can be in the car, when I’m running, or when I can blare my lungs out while cleaning.  But lately, I hardly listen to music in the same style I used to.  Husband and I have a relatively small margin of music in common compared to my otherwise limitless taste in music.  We enjoy many styles together, but not the type I can play all day and certainly not the type that macho guys will jam too.  I’m left to banging my head or waving around glow sticks; otherwise I opt for quiet time because of how easily overwhelmed I get to loud noises on days that I’m tired; and I usually am.  Also, my car has been getting customized in the shop, along with my iPod friendly sound system.  In my makeshift ride, I’m stuck with the radio and I’d rather listen to NPR than Bieber.  So I found that I don’t listen to music as much  anymore and when I do, I’m not affected by it in the emotional style I used to be.

“Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?” -John Cusack

I’m more of the melancholic type, more so before than now.  Being happily married, I’m no longer an industry target for the hormone-driven roller coaster girl.  I’m no longer ‘need’ to relate to the pining Fiona, or bitter Lilly Allen, insecure Jem, or clueless Britney Spears.  I mean, I still rock out to all my favorites, but I don’t relate to those feelings that have been replaced by real life and real love.  It’s hard for me to listen to boppy and poppy music all the time because it doesn’t feel realistic to me.  All this nonsense and shenanigans about Just Dance, It’ll be Okay…Uh Dancing won’t make it okay. Really, it won’t.  And Rude Boys, please!  We want gentlemen! Yes we do, so don’t make me sing along.  But I’m happy now and love my melancholic music just as much, so it was weird to shuffle through some of my old songs and immediately flash black to a time that I invited turmoil over a boy or a guy who played with my head.  How different things are!

The feeling of being married didn’t happen overnight.  Becoming ill did not happen overnight.  I never picked a particular day and exclaimed, “Today I will be okay with being ill” or “I know what it feels like to be an established wife”.  Every once in a while I get a surprising whiplash into the current reality and have to take stock of where I am and how much I’ve progressed or what else might need adjustment.

Stepping out of my new element and into my old one, I realize I’ve settled in to the emotions that come along with being bound to someone and also how to leave single selfish emotions where they belong, in the past.  The transition into new stages of life have always been violent for me, but recently I feel like its falling into place like butter.  It’s not without some work and introspection but it’s nice not to have to resist so much.  Even in the subtler things, like completely surrendering to another person or deciding to walk 20 minutes instead of run 10 minutes.  I’m learning how to pay attention to myself whether I make the personal decision or if life throws a curve ball.

via Noelap at Flickr

Anyway, you don’t lose who you were or everything that makes you the person you currently are.  It just evolves and grows.  So I can still listen and pine to sap songs when my husband is away for business:

Paolo Nutini – No Other Way (The Scottish and arpeggios.  A beautiful blend.)

And yet I’ve learned to party right along with him and our blending lifestyle.  One that we both are continually accommodating to without looking back, and hoping that one day I’ll be much healthier so I can run the circles around him that drove him wild:

Skrillex – Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites (It’ll make your brain oooze. Best enjoyed with headphones)

 

 

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Filed under Housewifing, Indulgence, Loopy Lupus, Post A Week

A Quickie.

(Since it’s a quickie, editing will be at a minimum.  This is real life ya’ll.)

I’m still here.  The launch of this blog was not a false spark of energy.  As a matter of fact, when I started, I had very little energy.  My usual hobbies and duties had taken a back seat while I sat pretty on the couch with a Wolf flare, one of inflammation and exhaustion that I’m still working to understand.  I was either going to be TV prone or manage to save my my brain cells through the medium of writing.  The only thing I confess to is that the momentum was a bit heavy and posting something funny or interesting every day is just not going to happen.   So I decided if I feel like it, I will write, and if I don’t, I won’t.  There’s no point in making a blog if you lose your joy over feeling the need to cater to an audience.  This project is the exact opposite.  Adversity confronted.

Well, in the last week or so and hopefully in the following days, I’ve been much healthier.  It’s a large part of the reason I’ve been absent from the screen.  No chance I will be typing away when my legs and lungs are at almost-normal capacity.  The symptoms never seem to fully go away, but they do submit to all my careful and meticulous healing methods and avoidance tactics.  However, remission is temporary and who knows when and how it will strike again.  Pummeling through the last week like I have is probably counterproductive to a chunky period of health.  This culture we live in makes it feel like if you’re not go-go-gadget, you’re letting precious time and life slip away, and yes, I’m a conflicted member of that mentality.  It duals with my zen-like, listen-to-your-body-mentality.  Even with husband being gone so much this month, there’s so much that needs to be done.  At the end of the day, some time for perspective is of the essence.  Somewhere between all the things that need to be taken care of and walking to and from parking lots, I get overwhelmed.  This is not intended as a pleasure read, but as a visual representation of my mind going 1000 miles per hour at the end of the day.  Definitely, not in chronological order.

  • Drop off the cat before work to get spayed, power through banging morning headaches and body aches.
  • Make a stop at the gas station, the produce corner, publix, and Target during Saturday mayhem.
  • Schedule half the other errands during work lunches or I’ll get too achy.
  • Make sure you have energy for when Husband comes home.
  • Make sure there is clean laundry for when he comes home.
  • Did you remember the cilantro?
  • The cat food bowls are empty.
  • They’re out of litter.
  • Emergency run to Petsmart.
  • Forgot parent’s anniversary.
  • Food diary: peanut butter makes muscles hurt.
  • Can’t leave the house with just any pair of shoes, a new set of flats is in order. Add shopping, postpone, rinse, repeat.
  • Cancel the peanut butter on Vitacost order.
  • Order is on route. Eat the $.
  • Schedule mattress shopping dates with Husband. Postpone, rinse, repeat.
  • Bought oats, not gluten free.   Eat that cost as well.
  • What’s making my skin itchy, is it the Wolf? Is it dryness? Is it chemtrails?
  • Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.
  • Include exercise somewhere in there, it’ll give you the energy to last longer.
  • Medicine regimen. Empty stomach before and after, 3 times a day.
  • Cat took off the cone! Get her!!!
  • Read every label of everything you buy.
  • Put on foot lotion after shower.
  • Deny invitations for food and play and cheerfully offer options.
  • Skip meetings, listen in.
  • Catch up through text, forget the written letters.
  • Call in late again. Rush through lunch.
  • Repaint those chipped toenails.
  • Remember to take the nopal, the omegas, the flax seed oil three times a day, drink at least one tea of ginger, make sure to eat fiber every day.
  • Break up the cats, no roughhousing yet.
  • Don’t get sidetracked! You burned the butternut squash.
  • Install shower filter on list.
  • But I thought you took out the garbage?
  • The dishes are calling.  Husband is hungry. Cat is playing with stitches.  Must. Sit. Down.
  • Husband and I are ill and exhausted
  • Did that have caffeine in it?  IC flared again.
  • Send bill payment to new location. Locate the new address.
  • Tell God to take care of the usual suspects, cause I can’t remember what’s going on with who?
  • UPS skipped the delivery, add to the errands list for pick-up.  Wait in line.
  • Forget re-doing the toenails…shave!
  • Forgot to buy distilled water.
  • Smile without looking psychotic!

Does anyone else feel like they’re brain is going to explode?  Is the full moon arriving or is there just such limited time and too much traffic in the city? Do we self-sabotage/load ourselves to cover every little detail and then feel unaccomplished if something on the to-do list goes unchecked?

I don’t know if in reality it isn’t much and it only feels that way, but no matter the lessened pace I impose, no matter how much repose I force myself to surrender to, there has been an underlying sense of overload, especially if anything doesn’t get done.  I don’t necessarily blame being ill on this but I do have to wonder how large a part it plays in my life even when I do feel relatively upbeat and active.

It seems like it’s inconvenience after inconvenience, but its just life, not picking on any one particular person.  It’s about organizing before it gets out of control, or admitting overload when it’s there.  Before I got married, I learned how we automatically as  individuals (especially control freaks) usually take note of the undone without taking stock of the things that go according to plan.  Even if it does happen while running amock, there are many things going our way as long as we’re putting the time and work it.  The balanced person knows that there is more negative than positive, but some careful meditation helps pinpoint good results that are achieved and how its not always found on the chore list.

It was suggested in one of my favorite books on how the mind creates thoughts and affects behaviors.  It proposed that you take the author up, for one week at the end of the day, write everything you accomplished, now matter how small the task.  It was to enhance your viewpoint by the end of each trial period and begin learning to more readily acknowledge your hard work and sense of ongoing accomplishment.  I tried it and it goes to show that even though it felt like complete chaos to do everything on a limited clock, I was getting it done.  Expecting everything at my pace (a pace that I put up against those go-getter superwomen) was where the pressure built and distorted the view that everything was going pretty darn well.

  • Cat fixed. Done and over with.
  • Parents back from El Salvador, quality time spent with them.
  • Date night with Husband.
  • Bob’s Red Mill kindly sent me Gluten Free oats to replace my mistaken purchase.
  • I got my Tofu Press.
  • The health foods are working marvelously.
  • Business has picked up.
  • My kitty just said I LOVE YOU in cat.
  • Husband and I are on the same page, despite the travel schedule.
  • I received recognition for the monthly incentive program at work.
  • Sister send the best talking card and magnet!
  • Got a bomb-a$$ deal at Yankee candle for the parents anniversary gift by coincidence.  (Some lady just left a buy 2 get 2 of equal size free.
  • ….The list goes on, but some things I’ll keep to myself as any of you would.

So, I’m exhausted.  A bit stressed.  Missing Husband, especially at bedtime.  But not worrying about a pretty and perfect post has got me feeling pretty pleased tonight.  My house is mostly clean and I’m set up to go to my meeting tomorrow.  Priorities back on track and I’m sure there’ll be another readjustment soon.  Next week on my list, slow down on new health recipes, repeat a few meals, and instead take proper care of others when done taking care of self.  🙂

Peace out. Lights out.

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