Easy on the Knees Lentils and No-Knuckle Coconut Rice

Before I proceed to the recipe and methodology of how I prepare 3 fixings in less than 10 minutes, for the woman who wears short skirts and long jackets (sweatpants and a ponytail is okay too), I have a personal news update to relate.  It will not affect your recipe, only mine.  And I’ll be damned that I still haven’t bought that sponge bat that should be a prized possession in my home.

(If you wish, scroll straight to the food!)

Just now, I had some of the world renowned personal favorite in my house hold, Lentils A la Housewife.  They are one of husbands favorite quickies (also an excuse to assist in meat reduction from his diet.  He eats healthy but it could always use some help).  I’ve noticed this every time, although subtle:  The back of my head swells.  My heart races. My hands and feet turn red and puffy.  I want to cry or scream.  Preferably scream, but before I get labeled schizophrenic in public, I stick to imperceptible sobbing or mild ranting of anything and everything.  I’ve been delaying the inevitable…looking up the poorly labeled spice ingredients on my Badia spice tube.

I’m know sensitive to brown rice, one of the few things freely on my you-won’t-die list and which I love.  I’m not sensitive to lentils.  So why do I feel pain in my clavicle and ears???  I’ve learned to shun the potatoes, I’m really okay that I can’t eat eggplant, the Tabasco has been a hit to my soul, but curry? I can’t have curry??? Nooooooooooo!

This was my elven little kitchen helper, my buddy, my best friend with benefits, my go-to spice!  And of course it seemed obvious if it tastes to good, something must definitely be wrong.  But Denial is not a river in Egypt.  I knew what I had to do. Checking online, my suspicions were evinced: the hidden little menace is red pepper.  This. Changes. Everything.

Ok, now that I got the drama aside, it doesn’t change much which cannot be fixed with about $6-$8.  If you can’t have nightshade vegetables -red pepper or paprika for this argument- for the health of your joints, neuro-health, or muscle pain, it’s time to learn to make your own curry.  I would prepare the spices myself with a spice grinder if I didn’t prefer to budget my next gadget for a Tofu Xpress.  But all it requires is a blend of the following spices:

  • cumin
  • cardamom
  • coriander
  • turmeric
  • dry mustard
  • ground ginger
  • garlic powder

Leave out if nightshade veggie sensitive:

  • paprika or cayenne powder (if you’re blessed enough, or just normal)

Curry is versatile and subject to style and culture; open to an endless variety of combinations.  The Badia one I currently own, delicious, costs about a dollar at any ol’ grocery store.  Theirs includes fennel, and all spice, which I will be testing with those as well in my new Housewife Curry.  Just mix in one container and sprinkle!  Here is the basic recipe I found it from, though there are many others.

Now, we can move on to my easy-as-cake, but less-icing quickie meals.  This is a modified version of one my momma used to make.  Specifically the lentils she made contained beef and tomato sauce.  Well, I don’t like masticating dead cows (personal issue) and tomato sauce is sadly out of the question.  She also used those chicken cubes for seasoning, but I don’t want any animals in this food.  It tastes just as good, if not better.  That’s not a challenge to my mother, she’s still the best.  Now I know many might see this recipe as very easy, but I am not Wolfgang Puck and don’t claim to be awesome in the kitch.  My Husband is my biggest fan, but we both know that I’m still a novice and the disclaimer is on the front of this blog, learning to be a newlywed.  I intend to be as chunky and buttery as Paula Dean some day, but until then, a poor, tired woman’s meal will do.

Basically, I get home from work, aching, breaking, but most importantly, ravenous. On a health day, I would take out some onions and garlic, but even chopping can be an exhausting task for my hands and joints.  Standing too long makes just about everything hurt, but life doesn’t end at 5pm.  I must eat and feed the ones I love.  If he’s lucky, he gets clean underwear too. Laughing. Out. Loud.

Items needed: A rice cooker, pressure cooker, and medium pot at least 5 quarts).  See the rest below.

1) Take out all the spices. And Olive Oil.

Onion powder, Garlic powder, Bay Leaves, Cumin, Dill Weed, Curry (homemade from now on for me)

Also , basic salt and pepper. For toppings you will need either Greek plain yogurt, Sour Cream, or Feta Cheese crumbles.

2) Gather all subject foods:

(Sorry about picture placement, still haven’t gotten to that part in my HTML book.)

Note: Whole foods all the way.  Less chemicals, toxins, cleaner, and more nourishment.  There are variations of course.  If Husband is in town, we get jasmin rice which is still whole and pure, just hulled.  Make sure they haven’t added salts, oils, or preservatives.  You do that on your own.  For the extremely sensitive gluten free watchers, be careful about the warnings.  A trace of wheat will not do much to me, but worth a caution. Last but not least, if you struggle getting your brown rice to come out soft and fluffly, buy organic.  big different in softness.

3) Rinse all in respective cooking containers. Refill with water (according to likeness or package label):

  • Rice in rice cooker (Must have!) (For brown rice 2 cups of water per 1 of rice)
  • Lentils in pot (Should already.) (About 6 or 7 cups of water)
  • Black beans in pressure cooker.  (If you don’t have a pressure cooker, cook in much larger pot and make sure you soaked them overnight. Follow package instructions because I’m doing the pressure cooker method here.) (7 or 8 of water)

4) Prep

  • Rice: Throw in salt to taste and a half of teaspoon of oil
  • Lentils: To taste: Salt, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder for easy version.  Add all other spices mentioned above for a party in your mouth. About two bay leaves. HOLD THE DILL WEED. Go Crazy on the Curry.  The others, about one tablespoon.
  • Black beans: To taste – Salt, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder.  Lots of onion and garlic.

5) Light it on fire!

  • Rice: about 30 minutes, depending on how many cups you made
  • Lentils: Bring to boil, and then down to a strong simmer for 45 mins.
  • Black beans: Bring to a boil or when the pressure majigger is toppling about, and bring to medium heat for 30-45 mins.  (This varies on the cooker you have, check instructions)

6) Sit down and catch up on a book or watch The Simpsons if that’s the only decent thing to watch on antenna.

Please listen to the music while you’re holding.

7) Serve!

Rice in bowl, dump on plenty of dill weed. Pour the lentils on top. Add one tablespoon of plain greek yogurt (Mom would used sour cream), or drizzle Feta Cheese (I use Athenos which is not real feta, be that know to ye). Scramble and enjoy all the protein you need to get you by.  A spicy/cool dish. Voila! Mangia! Eat it!

8 ) Oh yea, the black beans are for tomorrow. Eat it with leftover brown rice and butternut squash,(another throw in the oven and leave gem) , scrambled eggs and an avocado, tortilla wraps and quick and easy ground organic turkey that doesn’t taste as dead as processed dead turkey; make sure cheese is involved if you’re not a vegan or have the butt bursts.

You can take half of that amount and put in the Magic Bullet or Blender, then some oil in a pan and heat them up to a boil.  You got refried beans that are muy rico.

Lentils and Coconut Rice

Here is the recipe without the beans included, and a very special feature to change it up (still easy), Coconut Rice! Also, is the version if you have enough chopping energy for full flavor.  Nummy, Nummy!


1) 1 cup of Lentils

2) Onion powder or 1/2 and onion (no need to dice)

3) Garlic powder or 2 garlic cloves (no need to dice)

4) Salt to taste

The rest of the spices and ingredients are optional, but awesome all together. Add your own if you like:

SPICES (All to taste)

5) Curry – Heap it on

6) Bay leaves – 2 or 3 leaves

7) Cumin

8 ) Dill Weed (dry)

TOPPINGS (either or)

9) Feta Cheese

10) Greek Plain Low or Nonfat Yogurt

Rinse lentils.  Follow the water:lentil ratio on the bag. Bring to a boil.  Simmer for 45 minutes.  That’s it.


2 cups jasmine rice

1 can unsweetened coconut milk

1 cup water

salt to taste

I make the rice with a rice cooker and go according to the usual directions.  It takes about 20 minutes.  If you don’t have a rice cooker, go buy one! I use mine about 3 times a week.


Serve desired amount of rice.  Sprinkle the rice with a ton of dill weed. Pour desired amount of lentils over it.  Add a heaping tablespoon of either feta cheese of Greek yogurt.  Mix and ready to serve. All protein and carb requirements are made.

Set up the lentils first for time-length purposes, then the rice and sit back.

There it is ladies and gentlemen…an easy Monday recipe that would make felon Martha Stewart and psycho Rachel Ray say Mmm..now thats good, and Yumm-o!  No chopping required, about 8 minutes or less of prep time, and foods that’ll help the week get started and leave plenty of leftovers.

I know I said I’m gonna stop promising things, but there a tortilla tutorial coming in the near future.  I just won’t promise when.  We eat too much bread. I… can’t eat bread that doesn’t taste like paste.  So it’s time to change it up.  White Boys go crazy for these.

1 Comment

Filed under Foodsies, Housewifing, Indulgence, Loopy Lupus, Picture of Health, Post A Week, Under the Weather

One response to “Easy on the Knees Lentils and No-Knuckle Coconut Rice

  1. Pingback: Teikirizi Day | Housewifing Around

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