Tag Archives: Food

Wal-Mart Fun, Insights, Tangents, and Bulletpoints

  • This post will constitute the greatness that is Walmart fun.  It is what happens when you’re not in a rush, don’t want to bring WMD with you,  and don’t focus on the ungodly alienesque (redudant) characters that roam the stores frightening the cohabitation of the average citizen, making us ponder the unanswered question…why are we here?
  • Times are tough.  The economy is bringing people together at Walmart.  For the most part, you can spot a person who doesn’t belong in there and you identify their economical and life status.  Nicely groomed man: Wife left him, took everything. A well dressed career woman pushes around a cart, puzzled and flustered: Husband is in debt.  High-end snob model: she’s lost or is too blonde to know she’s making all the rednecks drop their canned goods on their crusty toes.
  • It will expound upon some tips on nutritional food, insights, Walmart sight-seeing, money saving tactics and tid-bits I’ve picked up along the way.
  • It will be laid out in bullet point format for the mom-in-a-hurry, the business woman, or those with  Internet ADHD Syndrome (the ones who click on all external links, and find themselves reading about Tanzania’s President by the time their done), or people like me: the coherently fractured mind (paradoxical).
  • Money saving tips – Produce: buy at corner vegetable and fruit stands.  No bagging, no stock boy, no corn wax. For Asian, Jamaican, Latin, and world recipes..find a local ethnic store.  Everything will be ridiculously cheaper there.
  1. Curries
  2. Corn Masa
  3. Rice and Beans
  4. Herbs and Spices
  5. Coconut Milk
  6. Noodles
  7. Sauces
  8. Weird plants
  9. Oxtail Seasoning.. Wait. What? (Emphasis on the WH)

There is no doubt why some whities think the spanish are a bit from the another world.

No croutons. I’ve got just the thing!

Truth is, in the Spanish section, I found pumpkin seeds perfect for snacks and granola, which I paid a Starbuck’s coffee’s worth more for it at a natural health food store (even though I’m not supposed to drink coffee).  Anyway, these are not highly processed.  Get your anti-inflammatory curry powder here!  It’s not just for people with disease: people with allergies, people who work out.  Get your banana leaves here…haha..

  • Funny… that the Wal-Mart I patronized did not list it as the Ethnic Foods Isle.  They labeled it Latin Foods.

The other cultures look tame next to these guys.

  • Not funny… that ironically I had become the Wal-Mart weirdo because I was taking pictures of cow tongues in jars.  I’m not kidding.  Even the spics were looking at me like I spit on the Virgin Mary.  Oh, don’t worry.  I didn’t mean spic as derogatory, because I am one.  Kind of like how only a certain group can use the “n” word amongst themselves.  Just jokes my friends, just jokes.  Send hate mail or counsel to :bunnybutt83@yahoo.com
  • You must still read the labels.  Just because some countries are poor does not mean their corporations are beyond adding a lot of cheap foreign material to it.  I mean, look at our broke America.  They put silicone in my food! Some Oriental and Spanish food shamelessly add Mono Sodium Glutamate to their food.  Almost anything that ends in -mine does not belong in your plate.  My Cholas: please look carefully if you buy ADOBO seasoning.  The spanish version contains MSG.  The randomly enlightened North American version does not.  Some just sell MSG for a good brain rush.

  • A special side note:  The picture quality is to blame on my chronologically irrelevant phone in this rapidly evolving tech timeline we live in.  As a matter of fact, while I took the above picture, I lost the R key plate (that also doubles as the number 3 button).  No longer can I text you that, “I’m angry, Grrrr!”.  No, I’m just G.  Matching iPhones are in the works for Husband and me, but I fear divorce in the near future if we upgrade to such man-grabbing smartphones.  I would have to make an ElenAPP to get his attention.
  • Some popular organic brands are available in your Wal-Mart.  If you scan the rows long enough will magically appear in the back, hiding behind the pickles and the Twinkies.

And you thought the epitome of greatness was Peanut Butter. Bout time you experimented!

  • Please do yourself a favor and buy Gluten Free, Organic, and Environmentally Friendly Peanut Butter Panda Puffs!  They carry it at many Wal-Mart!  (Not in hick town though).  You don’t have to have Celiac’s Disease to want to stuff these down your pants. Try with vanilla soymilk. If you just don’t care, get Reese’s Peanut Butter cereal cause they are good, said the girl with the hives.

  • Here’s some common sense for all housewifes and home keepers, not rookies like me. Pragmatically speaking, not nutritionally, do buy the large strawberries so you don’t have to keep going back.  Don’t stock up on bulk broccoli just because you need to eat better.  Eating healthy food happens in baby steps for us Oreo-is-a-food-group eaters.  It is better you overdose on strawberries than spend your monies on a ton of greens that are just gonna get up on their stalks and walk away.
  • If you want your kids, I mean er, Husband to eat better…you’re gonnaa have to do some prep work.  Chop them fruits up pretty, try to put them in a prettier bowl that the tupperware below, and pin some fiery sparklers on top of them.  Handing them an apple is just laughable.  Slice it, dice it, eat a piece, garnish them and serve.  Arrange their cauliflower into little trees and take off the crust every once in a while on the sprouted whole grain bread.  Tell them there is sugar added in the berries.

  • This is what a fruit massacre looks like. “It was a run-by fruiting!” Bet you don’t know what I’m quoting?  Husband and I bonded on that quote long ago!  A million points if you know it:

  • I know this is obvious, but buy seasonally!  Try the things you were always afraid to try and do it while they’re dirt cheap.  Tis the season for papaya, kiwi, and watermelons.  I know this because it was on display, not because I subscribe to Southern Living.  In the days of yore (not sure when yore is), people would eat what was available in the area and nearby trade.  They didn’t have mass exports of kiwi in the dead of winter.  It makes sense that tropical people eat mangoes in the Caribbean to cool off, not in New England.  This is TRUE organic eating.  However, since we’re a spoiled peoples, let’s have our papaya and eat it too.  It makes your skin glow by the next day, great anti-inflammatory, protein breaker-upper, and you’ll poop like a duck. Eat. Boom! Poop.

Yes guessed it!  You must scoop out the seeds, possibly peel the skin, and dismember it into cubes to remove any semblance that it was once a papaya if you wants your family to go near it.  They don’t do fruit roll-ups with this many vitamins and fiber.

  • And if you don’t have that much fun in Wal-Mart after looking for little treasures and tricks, then stop by  Sweetbay’s Ethnic section.  guaranteed fun.  I spy with my eye:

In the English section. Love how it says sponge pudding.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go slurp on some cactus mucus….Bye.

Love,The Housewifee

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Filed under Foodsies, Housewifing, Indulgence, Picture of Health, Stimulating the Economy, Uncategorized

Food.Tired.Sleep.Banana.

I’m staying home from work today.  I feel like P. Diddy.  I brused my teeth with a bottle of Jack.  So long as I’m going to be drunk in the mornings, I might as well take up drinking, eh?  Alcohol will kill whatever I got.

My head and eyes are swollen and my brain can only be described as having some activity on the seismic scale.  When I walk it feels like my body parts are not communicating with each other.  I’m going back to sleep after breaking my fast and watching Dr. Oz (which is not my cup of tea). I swear I’m going to lose all the Oprah and Oz fans if I come clean on my view of them.  I kid, Oz isn’t so bad…  Oprah is.

Usually, I scramble and search for the point in time where I went wrong to set off severe symptoms.  I’m trying to learn not to blame myself for something I did, I ate, I took, and later ended up knocked down.  I can’t prevent from causing every single flare no matter how much money I spend on organic food, how many pee-tasting potions I drink, or how much I deny my cats hugs and kisses (mildly allergic).  Buuut I’m stubborn and still chastise myself when I ‘think’ I know what I did.  Still beating my self up for the Vicodin I took yesterday.

My husband knows more about painkillers and medicines than half the doctors that are getting shut down in Florida do.  He warned me and was adorably vigilant in the way I took them.  I took them as needed, and only half.  But after taking them awhile, their effectiveness wears off and the moods begin to wobble.  I was desperate yesterday. I’ve read that Lupsters end up paying hard if they don’t manage stress and sleep like handling a Faberge egg. I haven’t slept well in 3 days (out of discomfort and/or missing my ‘body pillow’), was in pain, and tried to re-do the spare room without help, but I knew I had to make it to work today. Mmm hmm. Not gonna happen.  Being knocked out by the pill sure lessened the morning pain, I woke up okay in that department.  But I woke up sad and crying.  For no reason.  Watching Dr. Oz here on the screen, he would say that my dreams were subconsciously telling me there is something wrong in my life.  Ya think?  But he would need to be given the proper intel: narcs change your brain chemistry, Doc. Simple.

Once I called in sick, after much deliberation and harassing my sister via text and leaving Husband messages for when he wakes up in Miami about how I wanna make that money to get a food processor and need to be at work and the world was going to fall apart if I didn’t go assist administratively, it was like I finally had that cosmo and I relaxed.  My body is tired and stressed.  And for someone who has an inflammation and an oxidative stress disease, I’m attending my full-time job way too much.

I continue beating myself up and telling myself I need to save my time off for the chiropractor, for the rheumy doc, and maybe indulge the idea that I can take a real vacation day soon.  Trying to reason with yourself when your brain ironically would rather sing Ke$ha songs to protect you from hurting yourself… is not a good idea.  Take that dollar-sign from the universe and stay home.  Don’t I always say pay attention to your body?  I’m the first to admit I that taking your own advice is harder than pooping with someone standing outside the door.

The benefit of today: I had a real breakfast.  I ditched Quaker for a new man, Bob’s Red Mill Rolled Oats that all these hippies are talking about.  Quaker has never claimed to be gluten-free and there’s risk of cross-contamination.  And yes, they we’re much fresher tasting and yummier than the processed ones.  Soymilk, a monkey-sized banana, blueberries, and  quarter-sized dollop of peanut butter.

So, here’s what I was working on writing last night before my brain started to party in its skull:

This draft was supposed to be an I CANT HAVE PIZZA rant.  By the time I’m ready to post it, the winds of food have changed.  Brownies are too sweet, fast food seems so plastic-y, and I put the ice cream right back in the freezer after having two sorry spoonfuls.  I don’t even know who I am anymore, but I’m crushing on this new mysterious stranger.  This detox may kick my a$$ energy0wise, but the progression is noted.   I feel cleaner.  My appetite is not dangerous anymore, I’m desire healthier things, I don’t want to kill people who eat a slice in front of me.  Well, yes.  I still do.  But I didn’t know I had accepted my situation until today (that was yesterday).  Three recent things have happened:

Number 1: I walked into a Taco Bell and didn’t long for the gastric caress of a grilled stuff burrito (I went to get tickets to Nuclear Cowboyz, not a Chalupa).  The smell of crumbled mystery meat simmering in grizzle didn’t appeal to me.  I stopped to identify what was the longing sensation I was feeling: It was the emotional connection of being stuffed and indulged once I’ve gobbled the burrito without ever tasting it.  It was the immediate satisfaction.  Two weeks ago, I would’ve caved and ate it in front of my cats making them promise not to tell my husband.

Number 2: For lunch I found myself eating an apple, a handful of blueberries, roasted edamame, hummus, and celery sticks, and felt very satisfied and proud.

Number 3: I found this website http://hungryhungryhippie.com/. Please also see the Favourite Links page for the other website I added as well.  My life is about to change.  Now I’m sure this great lady doesn’t want to be put on a pedestal and I won’t, but I find her fantastic.  With so many diet restrictions,  I haven’t found a flexible, easy diet (because I get fatigued too fast when I make complicated and long meals) that makes palatable sense to me other than a macro diet, and the answer to that is: yea right!  I’m hungry and always will be.  Her diet matches my diet.  It’s interesting, versatile, and crunchy.  I have been perusing (that word is  so pretentious for wannabe writers) her website for two days now and couldn’t wait for the weekend to start trying some of her ideas.

For dinner I had leftover brown rice, threw a butternut squash in the oven, and mashed half a little hass avocado all folded in with the rice like sour cream.  And oh.my.god!  Food-gasm!  First I’ve had in a long time since I’ve been banned from what-we-consider regular food.  I made yummy noises that I shouldn’t be making when Husband is out of town.  Chelios and Mishka were terrified.

It's a celly pic, so pardon the quality.

Detox process is in full gear.  I am not craving crap anymore.  Or veggies that kick me around.  I’m not lactose intolerant but out of my own free will, I kicked the dairy habit.  Cheese naturally produces morphine and opiates after all; why do you think we GOTTA HAVE it on everything?

More mini updates:

  • I’ve had to drop the green tea.  Too twitchy, even though on low caffeine.  Slso acidity rate was becoming obvious, tummy burns.  It helped with inflammation immensely though, so that sucks.  Sticking to ginger tea and might try Turmeric tea.
  • That celery juice…added pure aloe vera, cinnamon and ginger to the blender. Bellisimo!
  • I now need a tofu press and a more fierce and bigger food processor that’ll whip foods hiney, literally and figuratively.  Eating completely different requires change in thinking, budgeting, and accessories.  I wish it required a new wardrobe too.

So, I’ve had friends offer to cook for me only to find out that they have no idea what to make, even if they’re willing to change up their menu.  Another conundrum was the first time I rattled off the list of things I couldn’t eat to my sister so she can cook for me when I visit her back home.  She waited for me to shut my gluten-free no-pie hole and rightfully asked: “Well, what CAN you eat?”.  (Also coming to posts near you)

Here is an example of my green-light foods, I’m on a rotating diet of  (all foods must be organic or at least whole, artificial,dye, and preservative free)

  • Lentils (mine and Husband’s fav)
  • Brown Rice
  • Jasmine rice
  • Black Beans
  • Eggs (I’m doing Egglands best, but intend to switch to organic, range-free, from the farms where they don’t kill the irrelevant male chicks 😦 )
  • Tortillas (Salvadorian style)
  • Salmon
  • Non-spicy spices
  • All herbs
  • Corn Cereal
  • Rice Crackers
  • Rice Cake
  • Hummus
  • Peanut Butter
  • Almond butter
  • Apples
  • All kinds of berries
  • Bananas
  • Avocado
  • Asparagus
  • Broccoli (I don’t care for cooking broccoli. Stinks.)
  • Watermelon
  • Celery
  • Carrot (sticks)
  • Cucumber
  • Onion
  • Soups w/o strong spices
  • Occasional Grass fed turkey or chicken (hardly ever, don’t care for the taste of dead animals)
  • Occasional Greek non-fat yogurt or white cheeses

Just added to my list:

  • Butternut squash… where have you been all my life?

It sounds boring to someone accustomed to a different diet, but I’m not bored by it.  I love it.  And when you can’t just go out and pick up a burger, you get really creative mixing and matching.  Recipes and pictures will write themselves eventually.  This week has sucked for energy and activity so when I feel whole again, I’ll share how I’ve been managing to cook lately.

(Drastic conclusion cut-off.)

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Filed under Foodsies, Housewifing, Loopy Lupus, Under the Weather